You Know When You're About To Move When....

• You constantly feel the overwhelming urge to take a nap
• Every time someone asks you what you're doing the following day, you respond "packing". EVERY TIME.
• You've been offered by everyone you know to come live at their house instead of moving
• You try to avoid actually working at all costs. After all, watching a movie at a friend's house is VERY important.
• You wonder how after five hours of throwing stuff into boxes you've barely made a dent
• You are little miss responsible and make a packing schedule, then get so far behind that you throw it out and make it up as you go along
• You find stuff in your garage that you haven't touched or thought about in four years and say, "Why in the WORLD do I have this?"
• You get used to the phrase, "Check that box for roaches."
• Then scream as 6 or 7 of the aforementioned critters scurry out of the box that you're holding
• You absolutely LOVE the trash can
• You become a master at all things tape-like
• You feel strange when you go into your room and see that there is nothing in it
• You learn to hate stuff
• ^^ So, you make resolutions to have no stuff in your future house
• Your life somehow fits into a 26'x10' box
• You regret all of those spring cleaning seasons that have gone by without cleaning out ANYTHING
• You estimate how long you think it will take you to finish a room, then quadruple it
• Your family alone supplies the garage sale that your church is putting together
• When you try to trash unfinished homework from fourth grade, your friends say things like, "You're throwing away your childhood!"
• You start to cook something, then realize that you've packed away all of your pots, pans, and dishes
• You feel bad because people find out that you're moving when you mention it in a casual conversation
• You learn to eat only sandwiches and fast food
• Crying every day from stress is a normal occurance
• You learn the absolute truth that one day makes a difference
• You're infinitely grateful for those crazy enough to willingly endure the torture with you
• You call your friends after a long day and whine about how terrible it is
• You don't realize how awesome your church is until it's your last Sunday and you're sobbing on the shoulders of every member
• You finally get resigned to the idea of leaving
• Then, you finally look out the window and see the beautiful blues, lavenders, canary yellows, golds, and burnt oranges, and realize that God was carrying you through all of that. And you remember that he still does care that you're tired and stressed. And you remember that he has something huge in store for you in the new place that you'll be living. And that's pretty awesome.

I'm Tired of Being a Grump

    When I got out of school 3 and a half weeks ago, I was so excited that I would have a couple of weeks to simply sit under a tree, on my couch, in my room the entire day, thinking, reading, writing, listening to music, praying, watching a movie, anything I wanted to. After the entire school year of always having something that I HAD to do, peace sounded really, really nice. And it was, for about 2 and a half weeks. I genuinely enjoyed not doing anything, feeling no pressure to do something, hang out with someone.
    Then, a week ago, the grumps settled in. I got bored with all the reading, thinking, writing, listening to music, prayer, watching of movies. I wanted to do something, but couldn't because a) I can't drive, b) I'm busy packing for my family's upcoming move, c) my best friend is still in Thailand and isn't exactly available to hang out with, and d) I don't make plans ahead of time, and end up sitting around all day even if I don't want to. It has gotten so frustrating!
    Have you ever gotten to the point where you're so frustrated or angry or upset that you don't WANT to allow yourself to feel better? No? Just me?
    I'm generally a happy person, but when I'm in a bad mood, I block myself from doing anything to feel better. Often, I know exactly what will put me in a better mood (usually it's having God time), but don't want to because I just want to be grumpy. How strange is that? I guess I figure that "I have the right to be mad if I want to" or something like that.
    In hindsight, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard. Why in the world would you WANT to be in a bad mood?
    Like yesterday. I was grumpin' it up big time. But when I got to the worship service that my parents took me to, the singers started singing this song called Laugh Laugh Laugh by Big Momma Thornton.

"Laugh, laugh, laugh and be happy
Laugh, laugh, laugh and be gay
Laugh and your blues will vanish!
Laugh while you may!"

    When they started singing a song about laughing, of all things, I couldn't help but roll my eyes goodnaturedly, and let the Lord get into my heart and give me an attitude of laughter. Compared with how I felt on the drive, that was the best feeling in the world!
    I guess the moral of this story is that God will make you feel better if you just let him. That doesn't mean that you completely forget about the things that make you grumpy. (brothers, for instance...) It just means that he'll help you figure out your feelings, clear out your heart, and allow you to move on to greater things.

    My resolution: don't hang on to being a grump; rather, be thankful and happy in all situations. I want to embody what Paul said in Philippians 4:11-13 "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, where well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." I hope to learn how to say in my heart, "I have learned how to be content always, grumpy or not, because the Lord has given me the strength to do so."

Let My Cup (or maybe Coke bottle?) Overflow.

    I am loving being a crew leader at my church's VBS. Where else do you get to have tight hugs (I'm talking bone breaking tight-these girls are stronger than you'd thing), dancing, spinning, playing Simon Says in the hallway, doing arts and crafts, playing games with water, sand, and kitchen utensils, talking raccoons, goldfish, singing, and, of course, learning more about God EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT?
    I love my girls so very much. I have to admit, when my fellow crew leader didn't show up tonight, I was a little bit worried about being in charge of 7 girls by myself-I'm only 14, after all. But it really turned out great! I love seeing the looks on their faces when they learn something new at Shake It Up Cafe. I did have to break up some arguments, but it doesn't take a long time of being goofy, or just talking with them, to stick a smile back on their face.
    Oh, and what would VBS be without random discussions of the separation of church and state during storytelling? And the discovery that Jewish and Christian are not the same thing? And the spinning of eggs? And, of course, PAINT?
    I just love children. My friend Lauren started a devotion at the lower elementary school this year, and asked me to help her out. That has been such a blessing as well. Hannah, Abby, Makayla, Ivy, Kayden, Mackensie, Aimee, Isabella, AJ, Camron, Keely, Hannah Grace, Daniel, Grayson-just SOME of my kids in both VBS and the devotion-all have a special place in my heart.
    Children are (most of the time...) so innocent and ready to learn, unlike adults and teenagers, who too often get defensive. They have something to teach me about having a child-like faith, the kind where the only thing that truly matters is the love that Jesus has for us, and everything else is secondary. I only hope that they will learn something from me too!
    My favorite activity this week has been a game where you have to fill up a 2 liter bottle with water until it overflows. It was supposed to symbolize the love of God, the kind that fills you up so much that you have to pass it on! This task reminds me of one of my favorite songs from camp:
(Oh fill my cup) Oh fill my cup and let it overflow!
(Oh fill my cup) Oh fill my cup and let it overflow!
(Oh fill my cu-u-u-up) Oh fill my cup and let it overflow!
Let it overflow with love!
    The constant hugs and giggles that me and my girls share are great examples of the love that we need to take to the entire world.
    Just think: if we all got rid of the jealousy, anger, dishonesty, and hate, God would have so much room to pour in his love, so much that our hearts could overflow.

Oh yeah...Obedience is a good thing

    On Saturday, I went to a bruncheon with one of my friends. When I arrived, I went through the line and stacked my plate with breakfast casserole, fruit, muffins, Minute Maid berry punch. We played some rather silly, very corny, but oh-so-enjoyable games with the thirty or so ladies that were there. I wasn't expecting an encounter with God there (even though it was being held at a church....)
    And so, God decided to surprise me completely with a message from the guest speaker.
   Her name was Jennifer, who is an intern at We Will Go Ministries. We Will Go is a lovely place in downtown Jackson, MS that reaches out to the homeless all around the state capitol. (www.wewillgo.org) I was introduced to the ministry by my best friend and her family. From the first time that I set foot in the outside worship center, I fell in love with it. This love was confirmed when Miss Amy Lancaster, the woman who started We Will Go with her husband, stood up to welcome us. She is THE most godly woman I've ever met, real life or not. You can practically see God poking his head through her all the time, giving her (manymanymany) words to speak. She's not afraid: not afraid to literally stretch out on the floor, getting down on her face in the middle of worship because she's so overcome, not afraid to love everyone who's there, not afraid to order us to stop thinking that everything is awkward, not afraid to say what she's really thinking.  She begs consistently for Jesus to fill her with his love and fix her heart. She's the humblest person that I've ever met.
    And it's not just her. All of the interns and workers and people at We Will Go are so much led by the Lord. It's the best example of church that I've experienced. It has shown me the way I could live if I were fearless, because the Lord will never forsake me. Going there to serve just 6 or 7 times, I've had the opportunity to love people I don't know, pray for them, see love change lives, and enjoy the company of others searching for God everywhere they can, even seeking Jesus in a homeless person's eyes.
    (Sorry, I got a little sidetracked there. Can you see that I love being at We Will Go?) Jennifer talked about exactly what I needed, but not necessarily wanted to hear about: obedience.  
    I've never really been a rebellious person. I find the few rules that my parents have made for me to be completely reasonable. (I can hear the chant of "nerd, nerd, nerd...." start up now.) I do, however, rebel against God. I don't WANT to go talk to him when it's inconvenient for me or if I'm already busy with something else. I don't WANT to go pray for that person; what if they look at me funny? I don't WANT to love her, I just want to forget that she exists!
    But when it's convenient or I'm 'okay' with doing what God instructed me to, he just says, "Well, why didn't you do that when I told you to?"
    Obedience is not something that we as humans really like. We don't want to be told what to do. We like to feel in control of our own lives. Jennifer was there to tell me that I couldn't be in control of my own life if I wanted to truly belong to God. Ouch.
    I had been thinking about obedience a lot anyway. That day there was something that I needed to sort out, and I was begging for God to take over my mouth and say whatever would sort it out with the right amount of love. I needed him to say the thing that for the life of me, I could not figure out how to say. All of the examples Jennifer brought up, stories of neighbors downtown coming to her door at 11:30 PM to get some food, stories from the Bible, hit home with me. All of them had a common thread, too: When a person is obedient to what God wants them to do, it all comes out in their favor.
    The thing that I had to learn through this experience was that I need to be obedient all of the time. Not just when I can't figure out what to do myself, as was the case on Saturday, but also when I can see a way out on my own. Even then I still need to find out what God wants me to do. This lesson can apply to many things that I have been thinking about lately: going on a mission trip, going to camp, praying for my friends, praying for my ENEMIES; both things that I am desperate to do and things that I wish I wouldn't ever have to do.
    God does come through every single time that we rely on him. Obedience to God's will brings about a much better solution than we could have ever dreamed of. His plans aren't even close to what ours are, and they might not turn out the way that we expect, but it's gonna be worth it.